The pidder padder....

• I wish I had time and energy for: drawing, making jewelry, painting, reading, listening to music, sleeping in, hanging out with my friends
• I'm in love with: the new pink iPod Nano
• Sick of: wanting things I can't have

The pidder padder of tiny feet in my brain. It's funny because I didn't think there was anything that could beat the impossible, unbearable noise of my biological clock ticking. But now I hear tiny footsteps too. I dream about babies, I think about babies, I read about babies and I watch programmes on TV about babies. And altogether I'm wondering if it's normal. I've always been high on the thought of becoming a mother, but suddenly it's striking me that I can't recall any of my friends obsessing like this about becoming mothers. Of course a lot of them actually are mothers by now, so they needn't really worry about missing their chance, but before they became pregnant - was it so important to them? Did they feel as if they'd die if they couldn't have a baby? Or is it just me, who's being paranoid? I know I'll probably ruin my own chances of ever becoming pregnant by worrying so much about it, but I guess my anxiety over it kind of gives away the importance it has in my life. 'Stop worrying - stop thinking so much about it'. Stop eating chocolate, stop taking your job so seriously, stop feeling inadequate, stop missing your family, stop longing for material goods, stop expecting so much from people, stop sacrificing time on something someone else should be taking care of, stop feeling, stop sharing, stop living. How much can you stop before it hurts too much?