Set me free before you press delete

• Kilometres ridden on exercise bike: 20 (80 since Sunday)
• Most exciting moment of the day: booking tickets to go to Wales to see my sis
• Days left of vacation: 4
• Plans for Valentine's Day: none, as it's commercial BS

Today was a really good day for me. I slept until 10AM, got my exercising done quite early and spent loads of time on the phone with my sister. Johan and me are going to Wales to visit K and Aled for Easter. We'll stay for 5 days and it's going to be so awesome! I'm über-excited as it's been ages since I went anywhere. I was in Finland in October 2006 to visit P, but since then I haven't been anywhere really. So I'm really looking forward to going somewhere new and exciting. But I'm mostly looking forward to getting to spend some quality time with my sister and just be our silly, lame, childish and humorous selves. How on earth am I going to live with myself for the next month?

I've been really good with the exercising lately. I've done 20 kilometres every day, which to some might sound pretty boring sitting around on a bike that doesn't move for over half an hour, but it's actually not bad. I've mixed a CD with upbeat music and then I just race on as if demons were chasing me. And I guess in a way demons are chasing me. For so many years I've been troubled by not being happy with myself and it's quite obviously not me as a person I dislike, but my physical state. I was born pudgy and will probably always be, but it's as if it's just gone to far for me now. We want to have a baby. But the way things are looking for me physically at the moment I wouldn't even dare to try and conceive. There's no way my body is strong enough for a pregnancy and according to new studies it's actually a bigger risk and more harmful for the child for an overweight woman to become pregnant, than for a woman to smoke all the way through her pregnancy. Scary, huh? I'm not going to risk anything, so I'm working my butt off (literally) so we can have our baby. Wouldn't you pedal like hell from that demon?

I finished reading 'P.S. I Love You'. It was a good read, but I'm not at all as touched and impressed as I was with the film. I had hoped it would have an even stronger impact on me than the film, but I kind of just finished the last page and started wondering which book I should go for for next. So all in all I think it's a good read and it does put a smile on one's face every now and again, but if it hadn't been because I saw Gerard Butler delivering all lines in my mind, I'm not sure I would have felt the same.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. A concept which has sneaked it's way over here, eventhough we didn't give a flying rat's arse about it just 5 years ago. Lots of people have embraced it as this one day a year where they get to be romantic and do something extraordinary for their loved one. For Johan and me that's what our every day life builds on. We don't need one day a year to remember we love each other - we have every day for that. So here with us Valentine's is boycottet. But to all who celebrate it, Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow. May you feel loved.