Do you remember when you were 15?

• Days until Birthday: 12
• Currently hearing: the sound of silence.. literally.
• Currently watching: My So Called Life
• Biggest annoyance: Having 'Buttons' by The Pussycat Dolls stuck on my mind - I mean wtf?!

Browsing through Play.com recently I bumped into a personal must-have. When I was 15 years old I used to watch 'My So Called Life' every Monday and I was so in love with that series. It hit a nerve with me being 15 years old and entering that stage where you personally perceive yourself as a grown up, but your surroundings -and your parents least of all - don't see you as such. The series is about Angela and the struggles she meets in life as a 15-year-old girl in high school. Her first love, her struggle with finding her voice in the bigger issues, her problems with adjusting and settling into a role she feels is forced upon her and the general ups and downs of being a teenager in the 90s. I myself was a teenager in the 90s so needless to say I felt like the series had been handmade for me.

When I saw the complete series for sale on Play.com I immediately ordered it and just the other day it was delivered to our mailbox. In many ways it's almost like timetravel watching the series again after all these years. I had quite a lot of the episodes on video and they've been watched through and through hundreds of times, but I can't even recall the last time I watched them. It is pure nostalgia for me watching episode after episode and recalling all the messed up emotions and awkwardness I myself struggled with at that age. I see so much of it in Angela (Claire Danes). Right down to the fact that she passionately hungers for Jordan (Jared Leto), who is so obviously no good for her, while she plainly ignores Brian (Devon Gummersall), the extremely intelligent and nerdy boy from next door. Watching it now, at the age of almost 27, I sit and yell "LOOK AT BRIAN!!" at the screen, while back in 1994-1995 I found him deeply annoying. Haha. One really changes perspective, huh? At the age of 15 I wanted someone looking like Leto. At the age of 25 I wanted someone with smarts and heart. At the age of almost 27 I am engaged to someone who looks better than Leto ever could, has smarts and a heart the size of my head. Fairytale ending? Yeah, I think so too.

Do you remember when you were 15? I do now after the first 7 out of 19 episodes of My So Called Life. I was the girl, who dreamt of performing and who did extra curricular music and singing. I was the girl, who loved and trusted her parents, but spent most of her time hiding from them, so they wouldn't feel disappointed when she didn't live up to their expectations. I was the girl, who tried her best to fit in, but was always in an inner conflict, because the morals of the people she surrounded herself with didn't match her own. I was the girl, whose father became ill with cancer which forced her to be strong. I was the girl, who hung out with the tough crowd, but got really nice grades in school. I was the girl, who wrote poetry and songlyrics in stead of being an impossible teenager and taking it out on her parents. I was the girl, who never caused any grief, worry or trouble for anyone - but herself. I was the girl, who dreamt so big and never realised that at some point those dreams would cause a fall. I was the girl, who would one day become a woman with such pride and joy in life as could never have been imagined.

12 years later and thinking about all of this can still bring tears to my eyes. Sometimes I miss that girl so much, but I am proud of who and what she turned into. She did well for herself and all her dreams will forever be cherished.

D.