Randomness...
Today is my Dad's 54th birthday! So happy birthday Dad. I spoke to him earlier and he seemed to be in great form. Johan and I gave him a CD and some socks - such a 'dad-present'. But he enjoyed it so that was awesome.
I don't know if it's a mix between staying up late - which leads to sleeping in till around noon most days - and my panic attacks, but I am just extremely exhausted these days. Nothing much happens really, so I have a lot of free time on my hands to just let my thoughts wander. Basically I think about everything from 'there's dust on our shelves' to 'what's the meaning of life', but when I sit down and want to write about it, all thoughts scatter like rats from light. It's funny how I can be so unfocused one second, very concentrated the next and then totally distrait and unfocused again. Suppose it's all just because these times are as random as they are for me. Everything is sort of at an arm's length and when thinking of the things I need and want to do, I always have to wait a bit. I'm in a waiting position and it's turning me into this unfocused, panic attack stricken monster. But to turn the negatives into positives it's at least a lesson in patience for me, something I can also lack quite a bit sometimes. Not so much when it's about other people, but when it's about me and things I want for myself I can be totally impatient.
Today I wanted to write something funny, inspiring and interesting, but I guess the creativity can't stretch to all days. Besides it's better to write something than nothing at all, right?
“It's all make believe, isn't it?”
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