I'm never far away from you...

• Currently hearing: Gene Kelly and Olivia Newton-John 'Whenever you're away from me'
• Currently reading: am finishing Donald Spoto's biography about Marilyn Monroe
• Best bit of this week: having Basse here, even if he insists upon waking us at 5am-6am

It's been a while since I wrote a blog. The last week has just been crazy busy. Firstly there's been all the practical stuff concerning us moving in about 20 days. There's been some paperwork naturally since I've had to officially move from Denmark to Sweden and that's not something you just do. There's taxes to deal with among other things, since I own a flat in Århus and because I'll be working in Denmark. And there's a lot of practical stuff to sort out concerning the job as well. So basically we've been ringing, emailing and visiting places for the last week to get it all settled before we're off to Århus tomorrow. On Saturday we're picking K and Aled up at the airport and then in the evening it's party-time. Looking forward to it!

Since Saturday little Basse has been staying with us. My parents came to visit us on their way to Bornholm and left Basse with us for the week. It's been great having him here, but it's very obviously difficult to entertain a dog in a tiny flat. So we've been out a lot, walking for ages, swimming in the lake with him, walking in the forest... lots of things. I think he's really enjoyed it. So much that he's found it necessary to wake us somewhere between 5 and 7 am every morning. Gotta love him though and it's been really lovely getting into a rhythm where we get up early, get something out of the day and then go to bed earlier for a good night's rest. So we're quite happy with Basse for waking us early.

Finally after Johan and me have been together for like almost 2 years our parents met on Saturday. We had been quite nervous that they would have trouble understanding each other and so, but it all just went so perfectly and they got along awesomely. Was such a relief that they had fun together and were all interested in meeting up again soon. Hopefully my parents will be able to come over around the time where we move so they can all get to know each other better. It's nice to know that all the in-laws get along, they will after all be stuck with each other forever now, haha.

Today we're going to Helsingborg to see our flat again. We called the girl who rented it before us and asked if she would come let us in, so we could take some photos and do some measuring. She's a really cool girl and it was no problem for her to do so at all. So I'm really looking forward to seeing the place again, now knowing that it'll be my home.

The next week or so we'll be in Århus, so there probably won't be much blogging there either. In general I will be far more busy and have less time to be online from now on really. But just remember:

Whenever you're away from me

Wherever you go

You're never far away from me

I want you to know

I only have to close my eyes dear

And suddenly I'm where you are

You better never stray

'Cos I'll never be far away

Knocking on the door of happiness...

Currently hearing: Prospective Pussy Cat Dolls members screeching like dying cats

Current mood: On a scale from 1-10 where 1 is bad and 10 is awesome, I'm 28

Looking forward to: Mum and dad coming, taking care of Basse, seeing K, garden party, moving, starting work.. SO many things!

At some point rough seas and desperate storms must come to a rest. Life provides you with a key to your own happiness and salvation. Having struggled for a while, treading waters until the last breath, I finally have solid ground under my feet. Life provided me with the key to open doors I probably wouldn't have opened, if I hadn't been in such deep waters and needed a way out before I drowned. My fiance, my job and my new flat are all the most precious gifts to me, gifts I have received in return for trusting the doors life has led me to. In dark hours where desperate emotions create an inner chaos, it's very close to impossible to trust life, at least for me. But once again the key I was given, was the key that unlocked a door leading me to my future - a future I dreamt of.

Life is beautiful these days. I turn everywhere and see beauty, but none greater than her.

I feel like apologising to her on behalf of all the awful, rotten and dishonest people, who took part of her life. If the world hadn't been so set on taking advantage of her, she might still have been here today. In about a month it will be 45 years since Sweet Norma Jean passed away. Remember to light a candle for her, I know I will.

I wish life had provided you with a key

Wind beneath my wings...

Just a quick post to say that I won't be online for a few days. We're heading off to Helsingborg to sort some practical stuff and so I can get to work faster on Monday. We'll stay at my in-laws' cottage where surfing the Internet isn't an option, so I won't be able to post blogs. But I'll be back next week with lots of news and exciting stories... *cough*. Maybe not, but I'll be back anyway.

Have a great weekend, dear readers!

Breathing is beautiful...

Currently hearing: All sorts of summer music

Best experience of the day: Seeing 'Zodiac' in the cinema

Currently feeling: Excited, thankful, content, proud

Okay, so is it just me or is this little guy pictured above just dying to move in with me? I was in an 'aw'-mood. He fitted perfectly.

So much seems to have happened over the last 24 hours. I've gotten used to so little happening and now I have this new found meaning, all these reasons to do practical things I've only been able to imagine the joy of doing. Everything from reading through plans of action of the school to figuring out retirement funds and so. It's a lot of work and I love every second of it, because it means that I am where I wanted to be. I've felt all choked up over not reaching my hopes and goals for myself, but now I'm here where I wanted to be at this stage of my life. I've made a lot of people proud and most of all I have made myself very proud. I logged on to check the school's website today and to see my own name in the list of teachers of the school... Phew, what a moment. I'm really, really proud of myself. I've doubted myself too much lately and there was absolutely no need to do so. I'm good at what I do and I have so much potential to be even better. How exciting is this?

We went to the cinema today to see 'Zodiac'. It was a really good movie and although it was 2 hours and 37 minutes long, it actually didn't feel like it was that long. It made me think a lot about how privileged I am having grown up in such a safe country. Last night we watched 'Bowling for Columbine' and after watching it I sat for a while and just contemplated the idea of growing up around guns, violence and fear the way many Americans seem to do. I'm from a country where we over a 15 year period had 744 murders. I know we're a small country with far less inhabitants, but still it's quite a difference. I remember when I first arrived in Dublin, my host mother and her mother were horrified to hear that I walked home alone from the nightlink instead of taking a taxi, as they knew how much violence Dublin was plagued by. Personally I didn't know and in my naive youth, having grown up in Århus where I could walk where I wanted when I wanted, it didn't come to mind I could be in any danger. Some would probably mistake that innocence and naivety as stupidity, but I think many Danes have a very relaxed and trustworthy outlook on life. I wasn't taught to be scared. I was taught to be careful at all times, but never to be scared. And up until I was about 23 I wasn't really afraid of anything happening to me when I was out and about having a laugh. But I've become more aware of the fact that the world is changing and we can't always be safe. But a part of me truly refuses to live in fear, I'd rather use my head than let fear get the best of me.

When we arrived home tonight the people living downstairs were having a party. A funny thought came to mind: Thank f*** it's not me. Growing up is a funny thing. I still enjoy seeing my friends, but my 'party-gene' is gone. I couldn't be bothered even if I had to. No, I'm more into the small things now, like the garden party we're having in a few weeks. It'll be awesome!

I'll leave you with this guy:

Chewing your food too many times becomes tiresome

When the slack is cut...

Currently hearing: Kelly Clarkson 'Never Again' & P!nk 'Numb'

Currently feeling: Stuffed, relieved and awesome

Number of major reliefs today: Three

You know that feeling when you've swallowed something too fast and it kinda sticks in your throat, right? It's like you can't get it to go down and slowly you start to panic. What if it gets stuck? What if you choke? Panic rises and somehow you start to make it worse for yourself. By panicking you somehow completely brake the object on it's way down. That's in a mild form how I have been feeling for the last couple of months in relation to my job hunt. I have wanted a job so badly, but not just any job. I have been searching for one where I felt I could get to use my full potential and still be challenged so much that I would persist in learning new and exciting things. Well the good news is that the object stuck in my throat finally went down and I now have a job! I was at an interview yesterday and they called me today and welcomed me aboard. I was so happy I shed some good old tears. The relief has been so massive that in a way I still don't quite get it. My body has gotten used to panic somehow and it'll be such a positive and productive change for me to finally get to do what I've wanted to do so long.

Want a real feel-good-song? You know, the kind that makes you feel empowered, on top after a falling out with someone or just in my case the feeling of having been cut some slack by life. I think I took my beating for now and I celebrate that with this song:

I was weak before now you made me so numb

I can't feel much for you anymore

I gave you my all, my baby

I'm numb, numb, numb

I leave it to your imagination...

Currently hearing: Pink 'Catch me while I'm sleeping'

Biggest annoyance of the day: Being thrown off the Internet all the time

Biggest craving: Cocio! (damned lactose intolerance)

In one single, breathless second everything changes from calm seas to violent storms. Waves of madness and sorrow throw themselves over her and though she fights there is no savior. She is powerless in the dark, unable to inhale anything but the sickeningly thick air of the deep. As black clouds of poison invade her lungs, she tries to convince herself that no harm will come to her. Her mind fills with thoughts of white summer flowers, rays of sunshine licking her body leaving such heartbreaking warmth, those hazel eyes telling stories of love and eternity. Her throat aches as if red string was tightly tied around her neck and slowly tightened. Though darkness has it's firm grip there is a tiny grain of light within the girl. It breaks through the darkness, splinters it's surface with rays of white light, glittering like stars in the darkest night. Save the searchlights, call back the knights, angels and Gods, the waves are retreating. They want nothing of her, but the scent of her fear and the failed attempt at blowing out her light....

Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets

The one about sex appeal...

• Currently hearing: 30 Seconds to Mars 'A Beautiful Lie' (no I'm not tired of it yet)
• Biggest annoyance: Constantly having to listen to criticism of my country and people
• Looking forward to: Basse arriving in about two weeks. Oh and my parents arriving as well. Haha.
  

D asks: Which of the following actresses has the most sex appeal in your opinion? Angelina Jolie Keira Knightly Natalie Portman Marilyn Monroe view results

Watching one of those 'Top people of Hollywood and their weddings, weirdness and totally unrealistic wants and goals'-programmes it struck me how many women I find myself saying 'Wow, she's not looking her best, is she?' Naturally I write most of that attitude off as me just being a jealous, pudgy being, but to me it really seems as if sex appeal has stepped into a totally different dimension. In general it seems as if the more artificial and plastic a person looks, the more appealing they become in the media. And the less clothes they wear, the higher the appeal. What we have earlier found artistically beautiful, such as the human body in the nude, has turned into a status symbol. The harder the buttock the more appeal. And it's really a shame that we are so focused all the time on becoming alike. I've been involved in several discussions concerning whether or not I'd want to be like the people we see in the magazines and on billboards. I often wonder if the people who start these discussions have any idea how the people in magazines and on billboards look before Mr Retouch comes along.

Whatever happened to natural beauty? Can we safely conclude that it's hit the road and probably won't be back sometime soon? I love Dove for doing this campaign though, it's been very refreshing for someone, who doesn't have the service of Mr Retouch at hand every time she's set to leave the house. If sex appeal is all about covering up yourself and the features your parents' genes mixed for you, then I don't think I want any.

And according to a Blogthings quiz I am:

You Are 55% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: High You're quite sexy, and you're probably at least partially aware of your powers. Don't let your self doubt ever get the best of you. You're even more attractive than you know.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

Have a go yourself and see how you do. We all just might be a whole lot more attractive than we give ourselves credit for. Or not... in the end I guess, it's all still in the eye of the beholder. And thank f*** for that.