April 16th 2007

Just around 20° in Lund today and that inspired Johan and me to have our first barbecue of the year. We had some steak my mum gave us and then we did a nice salad, some olives wrapped in bacon and flushed it all down with cold Swedish apple cider. Was fantastic to say the least! According to the weather people the brilliant weather won't last long and already tomorrow we should go down to around 15°, but that's okay. Today was lovely as it was and we'll have plenty more days like this during the summer.
Yesterday we got back from a few days in Århus. I had a test in the hospital on Wednesday which hopefully went well. Can't really say until I've gotten my results on the 2nd of May. It gives me more than two weeks without doctors which feels so nice. Maybe it can actually take my mind of the whole thing for a while and just enjoy that Spring truly is here and that we can be outside and enjoy the sunshine.
I've sent out some job applications and am hoping for an interview soon. There's been a good bunch of available positions these weeks, so with a little luck and hope there might just be one for me in store. Fingers crossed! I'm optimistic anyway, no need to get all down about it. It'll all sort itself out eventually.
Well, it's sunny and pretty here in Lund and I am going to sit and smile about that for a while. Take care of yourselves and rock on rockers.
D.

April 9th + 10th 2007

It's 1 am, so basically it's the 10th of April, but I really want to write a bit about the 9th. Today was the day we finally went to the My Chemical Romance gig in Malmö. And was it awesome? It fucking rocked! Was such a great show and really lived up to all my expectations. Gerard sings like heaven and the audience really build up such a great atmosphere. Johan and me had a bit of a laugh at the massive crowd of emo-kids who dared their way into daylight to see the show. Just as I foresaw I suddenly found myself looking at the crowd and my maternal instincts started going bananas. I actually felt like petting a few of them and telling them to stop ruining their precious hair with black colouring. Especially the boys, you never know when they might loose half their hair and all they'll have to reminisce about will be dry, ruined, too black hair much resembling a helmet.

What does this have to do with My Chemical Romance, you're thinking. Good question. Not much I guess. I sidetracked. But yes, the show was awesome and I am so glad that I got to see them. Thanks again to Katrine, my gorgeous sister. She was the one who made it all possible for us.

Tomorrow, or later today as it will be, we're off to Århus for a few days. I'm due back in hospital on Wednesday for more examinations. These won't be too bad and Johan will be there with me, so I feel quite alright about it. Just hope these tests will have results so the reason for my stomachaches can finally be established and cured. Think of me as I will think of you.

Rock on rockers!

February 7th 2007

Once again I am in Århus for a few days. I had a meeting at the hospital yesterday where I got to talk to a doctor about my stomach aches. With my family history, where cancer is quite active, I was naturally very worried and anxious to hear what their tests could tell us so far. I can't really remember the last time I felt this scared. Luckily the doctor, who was so incredibly nice, could reassure me that I shouldn't worry too much about colonic cancer, as my symptoms and the bloodtests point in a direction of cronic colonic infection in stead. But naturally they have to do the cancer tests, mostly to definitely rule it out. And they also have to do further tests to see if it indeed is colonic infection we're dealing with. So on the 1st of March I have to go to Odder hospital, south of Århus, to have a coloscopi and a gastroscopic examination. Pretty nasty examinations indeed, but I feel relieved that something will finally be done. I've had more tests made over the last couple of months than I ever have, I think. It's a nasty experience and it really does put a good portion of fear into your life. My dad had colonic cancer when I was 15 years old and my grandmother had it when I was 16. They both had big operations and today they are well and healthy. But it makes me scared, you know the way? It's close to my genes somehow and ever since my dad was ill, we've been told that when we turn 30 we should be prepared to do these tests every 2 to 5 years. I'm not 30 yet, but I'm getting close. Might as well start now and keep a close look at my health. I'm too young for cancer, they say. But still... who can ever know? Best to be on the safe side and do the tests as often as they suggest and thereby get to live reassured that I am not ill. I'm just relieved that my symptoms and bloodtests don't indicate anything as horrible as cancer. I have an infection somewhere, they know that much and it might as well just be a colonic infection that needs to be treated and then I will feel much better.
Life is odd sometimes. It's the most beautiful thing, but at the same time it imprints such fear of losing it. Suddenly all the scare-stories you hear make a bigger impression than they ever did before and you find yourself fearing to have to leave all your loved ones behind and never get to live the life you so long to have. Your mortality somehow becomes so obvious, not that I ever believed I was immortal. Haha! I know I'm not, but I take my next 50 years of life for granted sometimes I think. It's as if I just decided that in a couple of years Johan and me will have a family and live happily ever after - fear free. But life isn't like that unless you make sure to take care of yourself and always take action when something feels wrong. I take action now because I love my life. I want to be around for many, many years to come. I want the whole package of children, house, car - all those things. And I will get it all, no doubt about it. I will be safe and healthy, because I fear losing my life and thereby act to keep it safe. Listen to your bodies and make sure to act when you feel something troubles you. Life is precious and beautiful and so are you.
Rock on my dear rockers. D.

January 27th 2007

Searching through old photos I found this picture of Johan and me. It's from June 2006 and as you can see we have sunshine on our faces.. well expect for Johan who has... well hair in his face. Haha! It's the emo-look - we love it. Admit it, so do you.
Anyways, it's now January 2007 and if we were to sit outside and take a photo like that one, we'd not only freeze our butts off, but would quite possibly also look a little less healthy and more blue-ish. Man it's cold these days. It snowed again last night, just after we had agreed that hopefully the snow that had thawed was the last we'd see this year. Well talk about jinxing ourselves. Jeez. Luckily there isn't that much - and there won't be anymore. Because I say so. Basta! Snow is definitely not my kind of thing. I wish I was the type who could run around outside for hours enjoying a good snowball fight, but unfortunately I am incapable of staying on my feet when it's slippery and so I'd spent most of a snowball fight on my bum. Which would give my opponents too much of an advantage and that's no fun. Is someone ever going to invent boots that are both fashionable, but also secures your feet to the ground?
Today we went out and did a bit of shopping. I needed some scrapbooking supplies, but unfortunately the shop we wanted to go to wasn't open until February second. So we got what we could in other stores and then had lunch. Johan gave me a red leather calendar, a Filofax, the kind I have always wanted, but have never been able to afford. It was on sale and he decided that now that I have graduated and am a teacher I should have a real teacher's calendar. So sweet of him! And I love it. It's gorgeous and so fitting for me.
Apart from a lovely day in Lund City, we're just going to do some washing and watch TV. Johan's MacGyver DVDs need a bit of attention.
Birthday wishes go to Leila, our dear friend from Stockholm and to Pia, Johan's mother. We hope you'll both have a wonderful day.
That's it for me today. Rock on rockers. D.

January 25th 2007

I'm terrible at this. Just have to write a little bit each day and whoops, suddenly half a month has passed by. Oh well, we'll catch up soon enough.

As most of you probably know I passed my BA-exam on the 16th of January and am now a teacher - or a Bachelor of Education as they so fancily call it on my diploma. Call it whatever they want, I'm just so relieved to have it over and done with. After 4 years of college it's finally over and I can now get on with my life. If I get a job that is. So far I haven't been lucky with getting interviews. But I guess it should all come in due time as long as I keep applying for all the jobs that suit me. No need to stress out over it already, it'll all fall into place eventually.

So what do I do as an unemployed teacher? Well... I make foodplans for Johan and me, read books, talk to friends online and... well... what do I actually do? My latest project is a scrapbook for Johan and me that I have had plans to make since last summer, but just never got around to. Have at least ordered copies of photos now and am just waiting for them to arrive. So that's a new hobby... or a way to get time to pass until someone hires me.

Only a bit over a week until Johan's birthday now. Next Saturday to be specific. As always I am having trouble finding him a present, but that's because the silly man doesn't want anything. And I guess it's a no-no to buy him things I want myself, right? Haha! I will find something, I always do. I'm just somehow lacking creativity to come up with something awesome.

Had a great chat to Malene, a friend of mine from college, today. Malene is going to be a mum within the next month or so, so there's loads of excitement in their little house. I am so happy for her! Can't wait to see photos of the little one. Meanwhile I will just daydream on about getting my own little one. But all in due time, as they say.

I've thought a lot about friendship lately. Things have changed so much over the last couple of years. I used to be extremely dependent on my friends, but as I met Johan I somehow grew very independent of them. I love my friends and I have the best bunch of people in my life. I couldn't see a world without them, and I appriciate them more than anything. I don't know if any of them ever feel like I forget them or ignore them, but I never-ever mean to. So come talk to me if you feel like I'm not around enough. My head is just one big mess these days, so I can't really read minds. Hihi.

Okay, I better stop for now. Have a good one and rock on rockers. D.

January 12th 2007

I can't believe it. Time just flies by. Tomorrow I'm off to Århus again and in just a couple of days I'm doing my BA-exam. Quite scary I must admit, but I just can't wait to get it over with. I know my paper by now, I've studied a bit extra on young language learners and I should know just about enough to at least pass. And by now that is all that counts. I wouldn't hate getting a good result, but to be honest I would just like to hear them say "Congratulations, you are now a teacher". That must be the highlight of my last 4 years at college. Haha, it should be anyways it's what I was there for afterall.
I sent out a bunch of jobapplications earlier this week and so now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and really hoping that someone will want to invite me to an interview and in the end hire me. Would be awesome anyways. Both Johan and I could do without the 'being broke'-phase. It's no fun at all and it frustrates me. Especially since I am so far from home and I'd like to know that I'd always be able to afford to go home if *knocks on wood* something should happen at home. But with a little luck I won't have to worry about these things at all.
So, not much going on here really. We've basically just been studying and playing San Andreas. I'm happy I'm not a real life psycho, man I shoot a lot of innocent people playing stuff like that. Haha! Oh well, let's hope the game won't rot my mind ;)
Rock on rockers! D.

January 4th 2007

Happy New Year to you all! Johan and me just returned to Lund today after spending some time in Århus with my family. I was there a total of 15 days and I very quickly get very used to having the pets around me. I mean.. Look at that little fluffy face to your left! How can he not make you feel all fuzzy and happy inside? I love that little bundle of fluff with all my heart and I miss him so much it hurts. It's lovely to get to be with my family and I love spending time with them and Johan. It becomes more and more obvious how well he fits in our family. And even if I knew all along how right he is for me, it's just nice to see how relaxed and comfortable he is with the people who mean the world to me.
The day of my BA-exam is catching up with me, so after the weekend I'll start preparing for the exam. At the same time I have some jobs to apply for. I really want to get a job as soon as possible before I get bored and more broke than I already am. I want to move into a bigger flat and have the life Johan and me are looking so much forward to. So I better work my bum off for it. And I will... in babysteps so I won't stress out. I think step number one should be to pass the damn exam. Will get me a good bit further anyways. So as always, fingers crossed for me.
It's so odd to think about how another year has passed. A lot has happened in that year and some of those things are definitely major to me and have brought on times of tears and times of laughter. But I think that our engagement is actually the most significant episode in 2006 for me. My amazing boyfriend asked me to marry him and be with him for the rest of our lives. There is no better guarantee for a happy, fulfilled, secure, passionate and amazing life than knowing that he wants to be with me forever - and a bit longer as well.
So another year starts and so far my resolutions are complete. I promised myself not to make any resolutions, so I didn't. Let's take life for what it is and not force annoyance upon ourselves. No need for it, there are plenty of other things around to annoy.
Rock on rockers! D.